The following will be supplied: hanky, feather, Popsicle sticks, flowers, spices, ribbons, tea, wine and coins.
Please bring: water pistol or squirter and maybe some spices. The spices could be a cinnamon stick, small bunch of dried parsley, sachet, or anything that would make a spicy smell.
Some actions and lines will be repeated throughout the movie, including:
1. Each time that John Dashwood speaks, hiss “Weasel!” at whatever volume seems appropriate. Start with when he says “I promise!” to his dying father.
2. Each time that Fanny Dashwood speaks; “meow” at whatever volume seems appropriate. Hiss and bare your claws when she irritates you most particularly.
3. Whenever Fanny’s poor, “shiver-itself-out-of-existence” doggy appears, either “woof” or pet and soothe it, depending on your feelings towards it. “Eeewww” is also an appropriate, if opinionated, response.
4. Hanky to eyes whenever Mrs. Dashwood cries.
5. When John begins to tell Fanny about his promise to help his sisters, say with Fanny, “What do you mean, ‘help them’?” (in your most shrewish voice)
6. When John and Fanny are walking out of an inn and a man in a wig is holding out his hand for a tip. Hold out one of the gold coins in your hand. Then, snatch a coin away from someone near to you when Fanny snatches.
7. Right after this, “Ah-choo!” when the maid shakes the rug over Fanny and John.
8. At the end of the conversation between John and Fanny where they decide to give the girls nothing, say: “Vulture” after Fanny says “They would be much more able to give you something!”
9. John and Fanny`s conversation cuts to Norland. During Marianne’s opening song, quietly hum the funeral march (dum-dum-da-dum-dah-dee-dum-dum-dah-de-dum)
10. When Mrs. Dashwood is packing her things and complaining to Elinor about John and Fanny turning them out of their homes, say : “Vultures!” with Mrs. Dashwood. Use hanky
11. Boo and hiss when Elinor says “Houses pass from father to son, dearest.” Add, “Weasel!” or “Vultures!”
12. “It’s their atlas!” with Margaret.
13. “Yeah, sure!” or “Tell me another one!” or other hoots about Elinor’s promise about the new fair and generous mistress of Norland.
14. When they are all having dinner at Norland, and whenever
there is a table/dinner scene, drink some wine.
15. During this scene. Fanny tells Elinor about Robert and his barouche box, say “Excellent notion!” (in the same snooty tone he uses later)
16. After Mrs. Dashwood says, “My dear John, this is your home.” Say “Vulture!”
17. “Good morning, Miss Marianne.” with Fanny.
18. When Fanny says, “the view is quiet incomparable from her windows”: SLAP! (Don’t forget to meow! Or say Vulture!)
19. Each time sheep appear on the screen, “bah” with them.
20. Each time someone writes with a quill, play with your feather in
some creative way: blow it in the air, twirl it about, pretend to write,
and so on.
21. Curtsey or bow when Edward is introduced.
22. “Do sit down.” with Fanny and Mrs. Dashwood.
23. After Edward announces he will be in the guest room, say “Tea!” with Fanny. Drink some tea, if you wish.
24. When Edward and Fanny go into the library, “Ah-choo!” when Edward
says, “It is the dust perhaps.”
25. Say “Ahhhhh” with Edward (to cover up Margaret’s wail) when Fanny says “Grecian temple.”
26. Snort when Edward says, “My sister tells me it is in South America.”
27. Say , “The Volga!” with Margaret.
28. “Weasel!” and “meow” and say “vultures!” as Fanny and John talk quietly about acquiring land.
29. Play with feather as Elinor writes
30. Use your Popsicle sticks to duel with neighbors and friends as Edward instructs Margaret.
31. Wave at Edward.
32. Giggle with Elinor when Margaret stabs Edward.
33. Silence to listen to “My Father’s Favorite.”
34. Sniffle, then wipe your eyes with your hanky after Edward gives it to Elinor.
35. Mime swabbing and swordfighting when Edward mentions them.
36. Meow and hiss as Fanny looks down over the balcony at Edward and Elinor.
37. Mime swabbing and swordfighting when Edward says, “piracy is our
only option.” And say the line with him.
38. Say, “I love London” when Edward says he hates it.
39. Bah-neigh-moo with the menagerie outside.
40. “Try again!” with Marianne, when she is criticizing the way Edward
41. If you’re up to it, read Cowper with Edward the second time (add dramatic hand gestures for emphasis):
No voice divine the storm allay'd,
No light propitious shone;
When, snatch'd from all effectual aid,
We perish'd, each alone:
42. Starting with the letter from Sir John, each time the cottage is
mentioned, say one of the following: “Oh! a cottage!” “How
charming!” A little cottage is always very snug!” “I consider
it the only form of building in which happiness is attainable!” “I am excessively
fond of a cottage!” “If I had any money to spare, I should build
43. When Marianne and her mother are discussing Elinor and Edward, say: “His reading last night!” with Marianne.
44. Say with Marianne (To die for love?) “What could be more glorious?”
45. When Marianne goes in to talk to Elinor about Edward, say “Me?” when Marianne cannot believe she might have overpowered Edward about the reading.
46. “Praise indeed!” with Elinor.
47. Say with Elinor: “ I do not attempt to deny that I think very highly of him—that I greatly esteem him –I like him.”
48. “Or a Ferrars?” with Marianne.
49. Repeat, in Marianne’s mimicking voice: : “ I do not attempt to deny that I think very highly of him—that I greatly esteem –that I like him.”
50. As Edward and Elinor are walking outside, call out to Elinor, “You’ve dropped your shawl, dearest!”
51. Meow and hiss when Fanny says “…compassionate person upon whom penniless
women can prey…”
52. “I understand you perfectly!” with Mrs. Dashwood.
53. When Fanny smirks: SLAP!
54. As they are at dinner and Mrs. Dashwood is telling everyone they will go to Barton: Blow on soup. Drink wine.
55. “Oh! a cottage!” “How charming!” A little cottage is always very snug!” “I consider it the only form of building in which happiness is attainable!” “I am excessively fond of a cottage!” “If I had any money to spare, I should build one myself.”
56. In the stables with Elinor and Edward: Fake laughter at Edward’s dumb joke about the horse in the kitchen.
57. Respond with your favorite not-a-chance statement when Edward says, “Forgive me” (for the dumb joke).
58. When Edward says, “I must speak to you.” Say, “Yes! Yes! My answer is yes! Oh yes!” until he says ”…about my education”
59. Repeat everything Elinor parrots to Edward during the “Plymouth” conversation. (Your education? Plymouth? No. Pratt? –after Elinor says it)
60. Breathe heavily like you have been running and you are out of breath when Fanny arrives at the stables. Call (shriek) out “Edward! Edward!”
61. When Fanny drags him away, call out “No wait! Come back!”
62. In the carriage on the way to Barton “Dear Edward” with Mrs. Dashwood.
63. Call out “Hello! Hello!” as they arrive at the cottage.
64. As they arrive at the cottage: “Oh! a cottage!” “How charming!” A little cottage is always very snug!” “I consider it the only form of building in which happiness is attainable!” “I am excessively fond of a cottage!” “If I had any money to spare, I should build one myself.”
65. Woof when the Middleton dogs appear, or pat and make friends if you prefer.
66. Shiver in the cold. Say, “Your feet are cold” when Elinor gets into bed.
67. While Sir John and Mrs. Jennings are quizzing the girls about their beaux: Say, along with Sir John: "She's horribly good at winkling."
68. Glare at Margaret when Marianne says, “there is no such person!”
69. Shout out random “F” names.
70. Sigh at will as Brandon gazes at Marianne, and clasp hand to heart
71. As he looks at her, say: “Besotted,” knowingly.
72. Clap for Marianne’s performance.
73. “A great pity indeed!” with Colonel Brandon.
74. Blow/toss / wave your spices into the air when Colonel Brandon says, “The air is full of spices.”
75. When they are cutting reeds for the baskets, say: “Nice hat!” when Colonel Brandon offers knife to Marianne.
76. “Nice hat!” when Colonel Brandon walks along with dog.
77. Woof or pat doggy.
78. Say with Brandon in the background: “Very good!” “Ohhh!” and “Here we are!” as Marianne tries to bowl.
79. Say, “Besotted” with Mrs. Jennings.
80. “I’ll trow too!” in response to Mrs. Jennings’ crack about melancholy tunes.
81. When Mrs. Jennings says, “You must play us a duet!”, mutter “shut up, shut up, shut up” under your breath as Brandon stares at her.
82. When they have returned from Barton and Marianne is angry, excalim: “Infirmity!” with Elinor.
83. With Margaret as she and Marianne prepare to walk: “ You always
say that, and then it always does.”
84. With Marianne, on the hillside: “Is there any felicity in the world superior to this?”
85. Water pistols at “I told you it would rain!”
86. Choose what to call to Marianne: “You’re not supposed to run!” “Have a care, Marianne!” “Look out, dearest! There’s a [root|hole|hedgehog]!”
87. “Owww” “Ouch” “Oooh!” as Marianne tries to stand.
88. Scream with Margaret when Willoughby appears
89. When Willoughby tells Margaret that the horse is quite safe, yell “Yes, but you’re not!”
90. Ooooo, aaahh, and pant with Marianne as Willoughby examines her for injury.
91. When Willoughby says, “Put your arms about my neck, say “OK by me!” “Any time, sweetie!” or “Don’t make Brandon jealous!”
92. Hiss “His name! His name!” with Marianne as Willoughby leaves.
93. Repeat “John Willoughby of Allenham” in a dreamy voice
94. “What an impressive gentleman!” with Mrs. Dashwood.
95. “Is he human?” with Elinor (or respond to the question as you see fit).
96. When Elinor says, “She feels no pain, Mama” agree, “Nope. Noooooo pain.”
97. Recite along with E & M-
"What care I for colds when there is such a man?"
"You will care very much when your nose swells up."
"You are right, help me Elinor!"
98. The next day, when Marianne is receiving visitors: “Like?” with
99. Salute and say “Hello Colonel” with Margaret.
100. Thank Colonel Brandon for the flowers—“Thank you so much, Colonel.”--present yours to your friends and neighbours.
101. When Colonel Brandon is staring at Marianne, say “Besotted.”
102. When Sir John says “Come Brandon, we know when we are not wanted,” feel free to call out “ I want you Colonel Brandon!”
103. Hide your flowers behind your back with Willoughby.
104. Say : “I saw those, you sneak!” as Colonel Brandon looks back at Willoughby.
105. Woof and pat doggies.
106. Pinch your cheeks and get ready to see Willoughby.
107. When Willoughby comes in, sigh loudly. Bat eyelashes.
108. “Nature must be brought to you!” as you present your flowers to the person who gave them to you.
109. Sniff your returned flowers with Marianne.
110. As you accept the flowers, say with Marianne: “These are not from the hothouse!”
111. When Willoughby asks, “Who is reading Shakespeare’s sonnets?” insist: “I am! No I am!”
112. Call out the number of your favorite Shakespeare sonnet (hint: no numbers over 154! )
113. Recite with Willoughby:
Let us not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.
Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds,
Nor bends with the remover to remove…
114. Sigh loudly when Willoughby produces his book of pocket sonnets. Bat eyelashes.
115. Wave and say ‘bye when Willoughby leaves. Sigh some more.
116. Say with Elinor: “Good work, Marianne!”
117. After Elinor says “Except that we know so little of him.” Make ominous music noises.
118. *Gasp* when Marianne insults Elinor. (If I had more shallow feelings I could conceal them as you do.)
119. Stroke your hanky with Elinor as she looks at Edward’s handkerchief.
120. Sigh and clasp your hand to your heart as Brandon watches Marianne draw Willoughby’s silhouette. Or say “Besotted.”
121. Play with the feather as Elinor is writing.
122. *Gasp* or “oooo” or sigh when Willoughby cuts Marianne’s hair. Make kissy noises when he kisses it.
123. As the “high flyer” rides into the scene, call out, “You’ll run someone down!” or “Did you see that?” with the bystanders. Also make horsey sounds with hands.
124. When Brandon comes to issssssue his invitation to the picnic, say: “Nice hat!” as Colonel Brandon dismounts.
125. “Good morning, Colonel!” with Elinor.
126. “Hat hair!” when Colonel Brandon takes off his hat.
127. When Colonel Brandon adds “Of course I shall be including Mr. Willoughby in the invitation” call out “Weasel”
128. Wave and say ‘bye to Marianne and Willoughby.
129. Sigh and clasp your hand to your heart when the colonel says, “Your sister seems very happy.”
130. Continue to *Sigh* at will as Colonel Brandon defends Marianne. Clasp hand to heart.
131. As they are getting ready for the picnic, whenever Lucy talks,
say “Liar!” “Viper in my bosom !” or suitable comment at whatever
volume is appropriate to the scene. Slapping Lucy is almost always
an appropriate response also.
132. Woof and neigh with the menagerie.
133. “Nothing like!” with Mr. Palmer.
134. “I never said anything so irrational!” with Mr. Palmer.
135. When Willoughby hands Marianne up into his high-flyer, sigh and bat eyelashes.
136. When Lucy asks to sit next to Elinor, shout, “NO!! Don’t do it, Elinor!” “You’ll regret it!” or simply, “Viper in my bosom!”
137. “Nice hat!” at Colonel Brandon’s close-up.
138. Respond to Mrs. Jennings’ “I hope it’s nothing serious” with an appropriate duh-like statement—“Does it LOOK like it’s nothing serious?” or perhaps a simple snort.
139. When Willoughby says of Brandon, "He's the kind of man everyone speaks well of but no one remembers to talk to", say, "You weasel! You only wish you were half the man he is."
140. After Elinor says, “Why should you dislike him?” make ominous music sounds.
141. Squeal and giggle as Willoughby spins Marianne.
142. Sigh and bat eyelashes when Willoughby says, “As much as I adore…”
143. As Willoughby talks about how he loves the cottage: “Oh! a cottage!” “How charming!” A little cottage is always very snug!” “I consider it the only form of building in which happiness is attainable!” “I am excessively fond of a cottage!” “If I had any money to spare, I should build one myself.”
144. With Elinor: "With dark, narrow stairs, a pokey hall and a fire that smokes, I suppose.”
145. Sigh and bat eyelashes when Willoughby says, “This place has one claim on my affection that no other…”
146. When Willoughby talks about the fair and virtuous lady compromising her honour and Marianne replies: “That’s exactly what Elinor would say!” Shout “And she would be right!” (with Willoughby)
147. “They always kneel down” with Margaret.
148. Either “Willoughby, come back!” with Margaret or “Willoughby, get lost!” as you see fit.
149. Say “I can hardly tell you” with Elinor. Then, after she says, “Why was his manner so guilty?” make ominous music sounds.
150. “Of course he loves her!” with Mrs. Dashwood.
151. “Certainly not!” with Mrs. Dashwood.
152. Weep with the others or drink tea with Elinor, as you are disposed.
153. At Barton Park: Water pistols as Marianne watches the rain.
154. “Awww” as Mrs. Dashwood wins the hand at cards.
155. “If only you would stop!” with Mr. Palmer.
156. “Five and a half ” with Mr. Palmer.
157. “Try!” with Mr. Palmer.
158. When Elinor says “Do you have an understanding with Robert Ferrars?” say “Excellent notion!” in his snooty tone.
159. *Gasp* when Lucy says, “engaged these five years.”
160. When Lucy says “He looks on you quite as his own sister” call “Liar!” or SLAP her—or both!
161. “Mr. Pratt!?!?!” when Lucy says it.
162. Show your hanky when Lucy does. Sniff in a phony way and dab hanky at your eyes.
163. Say “Tell us all!” with Charlotte.
164. Hyperventilate and wave your hands excitedly with Charlotte as the plan for London is mentioned.
165. “London!” with Marianne.
166. “I came into Devonshire with no other view” with Mr. Palmer.
167. Say “Of course she can!” with Charlotte (in reply to Mrs. Dashwood can spare them very well)
168. Reach over and crunch up the script your neighbour is holding as Charlotte crunches Mr. P’s paper. Then, smooth out your own.
169. Wave ‘bye to the carriage.
170. When Lucy whines to Elinor “He’ll never be able to call”, say with Elinor “I should imagine not.”
171. Be sure to call Lucy “Liar!” and “Viper at my bosom!” when she says that Edward “has never given me a moment’s alarm on that score!”
172. “Tea, Pigeon, tea!” with Mrs. Jennings as they arrive at her house. Drink some tea.
173. Pinch your cheeks with Marianne in anticipation of Willoughby’s arrival.
174. “You don’t know how I suffer!” when Marianne runs out on Colonel Brandon.
175. “Nice hair!” to Colonel Brandon.
176. When Elinor says, “I have no doubt of their mutual affection, sigh and clasp your hand to your heart.
177. With Brandon to Elinor at their first meeting in London-
"To your sister I wish all imaginable happiness. To Mr. Willoughby that he may endeavor to deserve her."(make that last part drip with restrained sarcasm! Or cough, choke and sputter as you say it.) Make sounds of ominous music.
178. “Forgive me” with Colonel Brandon.
179. When Marianne quizzes Pigeon about whether there are any messages, yell “No, no no! How many times do I have to tell you no!”
180. Use your feather when Marianne is writing.
181. “The “Willough” room!” when the bell rings on the wall.
182. As they arrive at the ball: “Pick up your skirts, dearest!” when Mrs. Jennings says, “the horses have been here”.
183. “No, no, no! This is madness! This is driveling madness!” with Mr. Palmer at the ball.
184. “Unfortunately not” with Mr. Palmer.
185. When Lucy says, “I declare I shall faint”, say “I wish!”
186. Draw in your breath in expectation when Robert Ferrars has his back turned, then “Eeewww!” when Robert Ferrars turns around.
187. When Robert is asked to dance with Elinor and says “It would be my honour”, say “It would be my punishment,” on Elinor’s behalf.
188. With Robert, as he and Elinor are dancing: “I am excessively fond of a cottage. If I had any money to spare, I should build one myself.”
189. With Marianne: “Willoughby!!! Good God! Willoughby! Will you not shake hands with me? Force him to come to me instantly!”
190. “Come away dearest,” with Elinor.
191. “He did! He did!” when Elinor says Willoughby made us all believe he loved Marianne.
192. “He’s a good for nothing who’s used my young friend very ill indeed!” with Mrs. Jennings. Emphasize with more “Very ill indeed”s.
193. Meow! SLAP! When Fanny, John, and Robert gossip about the Dashwoods.
Drink tea. Say, “Excellent notion!” with Robert.
194. Sigh at will during Colonel Brandon’s tortured retelling of Eliza’s tale.
195. “Good God! Do you mean Willoughby?” with Elinor.
196. “For the money.” with Elinor.
197. Groan when Lucy walks in.
198. SLAP! Lucy when she says “if a man treated me with so little respect.”
199. “Hi Lindsay!” to Lindsay Doran (as the maid) when she introduces Edward.
200. “Good God, Lucy!” when Edward looks at Lucy.
201. “Witch!” “Harridan!” or multiple SLAPS when Lucy says “honour their engagements, little or great.”
202. Lick and preen your feather with Fanny.
203. “Liar” when Lucy says she hasn’t told anybody.
204. When Fanny says she is the soul of discretion, say: “Yeah, right!”
205. Scream “Viper in my bosom!” with Fanny.
206. “Oh, Elinor” with Marianne. “Where is your heart?”
207. Dab eyes when Marianne cries.
208. “Nice hat!” to Colonel Brandon.
209. Wave ‘bye to Mrs. Jennings.
210. “You’ll do nothing of the sort” with Mr. Palmer.
211. “I’m sure she didn’t!” when Elinor says, “I don’t think she drew breath…”
212. “You always say that and then it always does!” with Elinor.
213. Water pistols as Marianne walks out in the rain.
214. “Marianne?” as Colonel Brandon enters the hot house. Look around the room, under cushions etc. for Marianne.
215. “Have some tea, Elinor,” and then “Have some more tea, Elinor,” when Mrs. Palmer gives her another cup. Drink your tea twice.
216. “Thank you for pointing that out, my dear……I think we can all guess where she went!” with Mr. Palmer.
217. Pant with Colonel Brandon after he carries Marianne. Continue to spray water pistols
218. When Colonel Brandon brings Marianne in and says, “We must get her warm!” Say “I’m cold too, Colonel!” or “Warm ME up, Colonel!”
219. Shriek “Mrs. Bunting! Mrs. Bunting” with Charlotte as she runs to get her baby.
220. “Miss Dashwood!” with Mr. Palmer as Elinor awakens him.
221. Take the pulse of your neighbour
222. “Marry her!” (Or “Marry me!”) when Brandon says, “What can I do?”
223. “Give me an occupation, Miss Dashwood, or I shall run mad!” with Colonel Brandon (sigh at will also). Film will be paused for general sighing.
224. “Of course!” with Colonel Brandon. Horsey sounds as he rides away.
225. Eeewww at the blood.
226. Hanky to eyes as Elinor cries.
227. Put your hand up to rub your neck with Elinor.
228. Sigh and clasp hand over heart when Marianne says, “Colonel Brandon? Thank you!” or say “Finally!”
229. When Mrs. Dashwood says, “something in Willoughby’s eyes I did
not like.” Say “Weasel!”
230. “Ssshh!” when Colonel Brandon says, “It is a secret.”
231. Shake your head when Colonel Brandon does.
232. When Marianne says, “There, that is where I fell.” say “Where? Oh, there!”
233. “Poor Willoughby!” with Elinor. Your tone can be sympathetic or sarcastic, as you choose.
234. Play with your feather as Marianne writes.
235. When Thomas says, “Mr. Ferrars is married.” Gasp!
236. When Thomas says, “Miss Lucy Steele, as was” say “Viper!”
237. “Friend, HAH!” when Mrs. Dashwood reads, “Your devoted friend, Christopher Brandon”
238. “He must like you very much!” with Margaret.
239. When Marianne says, “It is for all of us.” Say “Yeah, Sure it is!”
240. Make whistling sounds with Margaret.
241. Call out “It is Edward! It is Edward!” with Margaret
242. Brush off your hands with Elinor.
243. Bow/curtsey when Edward bows.
244. “Well, we have!” with Margaret.
245. Say “Ouch!” when Edward sits on the embroidery
246. “What? No!!!!!” when Edward says “Mrs. Robert Ferrars.”
247. Bah softly as Edward plays with sheep figurine.
248. When Edward says, “she has released me from our engagement” say “Excellent notion!”
249. Have your hanky out for Elinor when she breaks down.
250. Make kissing sounds after “is and always will be yours.”
251. When Mrs. Dashwood says, “Margaret, get down!” say “No, stay, stay!”
and “Tell us. Tell us.”
252. “He’s kneeling down!” with Margaret. Add “They always kneel down.”
253. Wave your ribbons along with the children.
254. Toss coins with Colonel.